Every issue we highlight 1 sensational Jeddahwy person, 1 Jeddahwy life aspect, and 1 Jeddahwy hot topic…

Hatoon AlToukhi: The Saudi Italian Influencer Chef

This month’s Sensational Jeddahwy Hatoon AlToukhi is an inspirational and innovative influencer chef, mother, and entrepreneur…

Hatoon AlToukhi started her career as an influencer chef out of her deep-rooted love for food. Her unique experience as a multicultural Saudi with Egyptian roots and Italian in-laws led her to discover a special niche for herself as Saudi Arabia’s Italian Influencer chef.

Jeddahwy got to talking to her about her inspiring career and success:

How did you come to be Saudi Arabia’s Influencer Italian chef?
When I entered the world of social media after COVID, I wanted to be unique and not just a replica or a duplicate of anyone else. So, with my experience in Italian cuisine, I found that very few influencers specialised in that niche in Saudi Arabia or the Arab world. So, I decided to be unique and specialise in Italian cuisine because of my experience and background.

What challenges and support did you face?
Our society is used to Arabic cuisine, so for a Saudi specialising in a foreign cuisine, I didn’t get a lot of engagement or followers in the beginning. Because the idea was new and the quality of my videos wasn’t what it is today, it was tough. But, through consistent content and progress, and by joining the culinary community of influencers in Saudi, I became known as the Italian Chef, not just in KSA, but in the Gulf. I’ve been on UAE TV channels, Al Arabiya, MBC, SRFM, and on my own live cooking show. Now, I’m working on another cooking show with an Emirati TV channel.

What advice would you give someone starting up in this field?
My advice is that to be a social media influencer, you must have your own niche. You must be original and unique. Don’t imitate other influencers. Just be authentic, be real, no fake personalities, no fake content, and keep going. Even if you’re let down or didn’t get a lot of engagement or fame initially, it will come later on. Just keep making good-quality content.

As February is the month of love, Jeddahwy asked Hatoon about her relationship with her part-Italian husband, Majed Felemban:

What brought you together?
Well, I had some requirements to get married. I’m a child of a very ugly divorce, and I didn’t want to get married just for the sake of getting married unless I found the right partner. And one of the things I wanted in my future husband was to have a foreign mother, to have a mix of mentalities, the Saudi and the foreign mentality. A friend introduced us, and then, SubhanAllah, we were married in four months.

Majed also had a divorce experience, a previous marriage, and a son from that marriage. So, he wanted someone that would welcome him and treat him well. I was raised by a wonderful stepmother, and that experience led me to become a good stepmom. It was a perfect match. So, our shared beliefs, way of life, open-mindedness, and experience brought us together.

What kept you together?
I believe that the woman is the pillar and foundation of every marriage. If the woman is patient and understanding, it’s the base. Accept his baggage and have a good relationship with his family. And, of course, him understanding my personality and accepting it as is.

Every marriage faces a lot of issues and obstacles, and we have faced many throughout our 15 years of marriage. It’s just about not sweating the small stuff. If it’s not something major, just let it go. And, sometimes, personalities change or surprises come in marriage. Accept what is acceptable and talk about what’s not, and if you can’t change it, try to make the best of it.

What are the most important aspects of a relationship?
Like I said, firstly, let it go when you can. Secondly, don’t let others interfere in your relationship. When I got married, my dad advised me not to go to them about our daily problems unless, God forbid, it was a huge, serious issue. So, don’t involve others unless it’s a disaster. Don’t brag to your friends either about how good your spouse is. Just keep others out of the relationship.

Thirdly, know your partner well and fulfil him/her in every way, emotionally and physically. For example, I come from a big family with many obligations, but my husband doesn’t. So, I don’t force him to go to my family every week; I respect his wishes, and in return, he respects mine and joins whenever it works for him.

Lastly and most importantly, DO NOT rage a war on your partner’s family. This is vital for peace and harmony in the relationship.

And, as Jeddah is a melting pot of cultures, the issue of multicultural families and couples hits home for many. Jeddahwy asked Hatoon about her Blended Cultures experience:

What challenges did you face due to your different cultures?
To me, I didn’t face any challenges. I welcomed the mixed culture; Majed’s mother is Italian from Rome. The challenge was with my parents because they’re very traditional. In the beginning, it was shocking to them how his Italian side was dominant in his lifestyle over the Saudi one. When we were getting engaged, Majed had long hair, and my father was a very traditional, strict, military man. So, I told Majed to hide the ponytail from my dad at the engagement party, but my father, being who he is, noticed it and, displeased, asked me about it. I had to explain and convince him that Majed is non-traditional; he’s Saudi but raised Italian. Since then, they’ve understood and chalked up every non-traditional thing to his Italian upbringing.

How did those different cultures help or hinder you as a couple and as a family?
The mix of cultures was very welcomed as a couple. Majed is still Saudi and loves everything here, just the more moderate version of the Saudi traditions. And I wanted to get out of the strict, traditional Saudi culture and merge into the more foreign one. So, it was a blessing from both sides.

Our kids had a bit of confusion and issues with the blended culture in the beginning. For example, when my daughter told her friends at school, a Saudi International school, about the gifts she got from Santa at Christmas dinner, they reprimanded her that it was haram and that she was going to hell. I explained to her that we’re Muslim and that we celebrate Christmas out of Italian tradition and not for religious reasons, and that’s ok. I taught them to embrace both cultures and mix them together as they’re both part of them.

What advice would you give couples in the same situation?
Before marrying a foreigner or a half-foreigner, you must understand his culture, traditions, and lifestyle. If it suits your beliefs and your lifestyle, then go ahead and marry. If it doesn’t agree with you, don’t do it because you can never really change people. It never works. He can add to his traditions and add yours to his, but he can never change or exclude his traditions.

And finally, Jeddahwy asked about the issue that plagues every Sensational Jeddahwy person:

What are your most important tips for work-life balance?
Always have a backup and a support system, whether it’s family or friends, to help when you’re away from the house. I always ensure that I work in jobs that provide flexible working hours to spend time with the family. And when you can’t be there for reasons out of your control, this support system will help keep things going smoothly. No man’s an island. That’s how you balance your work-life.

Find out more about Hatoon Altoukhi on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Shallal Chalet

For the month of love, we chose the beautiful Chalet El-Shallal (Waterfall Chalet) for February’s Jeddahwy Life review…

Chalet El-Shallal is a truly unique place with two pools adorned with waterfalls coming out of everywhere and a kid’s aqua park in one of them. It’s divided into two sections, with a middle living room and kitchenette connecting both. The chalet has three rooms, one standalone and two connecting, fitting six people comfortably. It costs SR 1,100 per night on a weekday and SR 1,600 on a weekend. Take your towels, cutlery, cups, and whatever else you might need as it rents out as just a location without anything else, but, it’s so worth it!

Find them on Instagram or contact them on Whatsapp at +966530855993.

4 Fears You Must Face In Love

Fear is the number one reason people fail at so many aspects of life, particularly in relationships, says Reham Abraham…

Fear of commitment is well-known for preventing a relationship from even getting off the ground, but these 4 underlying fears stifle any relationship:

1. Fear of Losing Control
You’ve been in control of your life until you met your SO; now, there is someone else that you must contend with and run your plans by, which can be a terrifying prospect. Your life is not yours alone, and this fear manifests itself through overly controlling behaviours that damage the relationship. You start micro-managing the household, your plans together, and even your intimacy, amongst other things. Your partner then starts feeling a total loss of control and starts reacting with anger, frustration, or plain indifference. Not a healthy way of being, and it starts to chip at the relationship until it breaks.

2. Fear of Change
Everyone fears change in any form; that’s why so many people get stuck in the wrong relationships or life situations. The problem is that when you fear the change happening in your relationship or because of it, you start acting out, lashing out at the partner. On the other side of the coin, if the relationship is not working or healthy, your fear of change could make you complacent and numb. All these behaviours lead to further strife in the relationship.

3. Fear of Responsibility
When you believe it’s someone else’s job to make you happy, secure, or satisfied, you’re fearing taking that responsibility upon yourself, and you’re just throwing it at someone else. The problem is that no one can ever fill up your inner tanks of good feelings but yourself. And, when your partner comes short of making you happy, etc, you start resenting them for what should’ve been your job in the first place.

4. Fear of Facing Reality
Like fear of responsibility, when you don’t own up to your flaws and role in the relationship, you’re fearing facing reality. As the age-old saying goes, “It takes two to tango,” and it really does. You might be quick to judge your partner for his anger, clutter, or behaviour, but what have you done to enable all this? Did you clean up every time he made a mess and let it go unchecked for so long? Did you give in every time to his anger till he learnt that with anger he gets his way? We enable other people’s behaviour in many ways, not always, but we must own up to it to fix it.

Fears are detrimental to relationships, and the only way is to acknowledge the fears and move past them. Take responsibility for your role in the equation and work on fixing it together.